we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
