If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
