Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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