currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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