There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you win again, gameday.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
