So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize