Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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