He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
