my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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