I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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