I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
high people should be assigned attendants
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
