sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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