Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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