I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
