you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
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I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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