Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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