think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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