I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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