we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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