They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
