too bad you live with your parents still
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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