Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
