Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
