Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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