u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
