just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
