Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
