Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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