I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize