I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
