that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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