he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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