We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
