remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I'm really busy with my period
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