That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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