i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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