please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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