What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
