it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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