is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
