Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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