Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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