I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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