omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
