Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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