Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
