stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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