they need to just BURY HIM!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
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Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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