So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
