That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
