So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
how drunk are you?
Several
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
