I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
