ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.

  Fav 16 2019 847

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth

  Fav 34 1491 2950

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (210): View more from Texas

  life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

  (210): View more from Texas

  i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

  Fav 23 6303 2327

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  What happened to the watermelon?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  You fucked it.

  Fav 15 2519 4876

  share tweet
  

• (650): View more from California

  I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

  Fav 18 1229 3140

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

  Fav 22 1089 4121

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (989): View more from Michigan

  I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.

  Fav 5 1252 3988

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?

  Fav 9 5837 1145

  share tweet
  

• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!

  Fav 7 4224 1525

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.

  Fav 4 2055 1361

  share tweet
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Go back and try to find another to go home with.

  Fav 9 2720 879

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (727): View more from Florida

  We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.

  Fav 5 1940 1148

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.

  Fav 1 1778 710

  share tweet
  

• (408): View more from California

  You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt

  Fav 2 1219 524

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm fucked.

  Fav 6 538 1040

  share tweet
  

Randomize