Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
