He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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