I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
