so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize