I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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