Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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