I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
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HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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