Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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