Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My dick has a subreddit
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
