I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I did not marry a roomba.
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